If you think of yourself as regular person, but if you were born WHITE, that automatically makes you a RACIST, responsible past wrongs such as Slavery, and today’s RACISM!
If you’re a fiscal and moral conservative, by today's standards that makes you a FACIST!
If you worked hard and succeeded, you don’t deserve what you have achieved, it wasn’t really the result of your efforts, it only came about because of your WHITE PRIVILEGE!
If you’re a heterosexual, that now makes you a HOMOPHOBE!
If you’re a not a union supporter, that means you’re a TRAITOR to the working class and an ALLY of EVIL BIG BUSINESS!
If you’re not a Muslim, you can now properly be labelled as an INFIDEL!
If you support the 2nd Amendment, it means you’re a RADICAL GUN LOVING ZEALOT!
If you think and reason on your own and doubt what the mainstream media tells you that means you’re a REACTIONARY!
I you’re proud of your heritage and our inclusive American culture, that makes you a XENOPHOBE!
If you value your and your family’s safety, appreciate the police and the legal system that means you’re a RIGHT-WING COP LOVING EXTREMIST!
If you believe in hard work, fair play and fair compensation based on each individual's merit that makes you an ANTI-SOCIALIST!
If you believe our system guarantees freedom of effort - not freedom of outcome or subsidies, that means you are a BORDERLINE SOCIOPATH!
If you believe in the defense and protection of our borders and American citizens that makes you a MILITANT!
If you are proud of our flag and what it stands for, and honor those who died to let it fly by standing during our National Anthem, that again makes you a RACIST!
You may not be aware, but these shortcomings you are now labelled with were probably only acquired during the past 7 or 8 years, while you were busy destroying the environment by eating meat, burning fossil fuel, cutting down trees, using plastic, flatulating, etc.!
Now if all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, if you’re like me, I’m now not even sure which bathroom to use!